results

ok, my promo results has just been out and i did so super badly. man, what am I doing here? I can just forget about everything that i wanted to do. argh, i'm very frustrated with myself. what have i been doing? argh.

Promos over!!

ok, promos's officially over, and i'm so sian!! got nothing to do!! miss so many ppl so much!! miss everything so much!! well, i'm still happy with my alr blessed life. =P while waiting for the results, i have ultimate fith that as long as i put my papers and faith in his hands, he can make it big yea? so you guys no worries too!! for God's great and He'll never forsake us, as long as we reach out for His help. He's always there dears. =P woohoo~~ loving my life, tho i got nth to do. hahaa

wasting some cash

ok, i just wasted a stash of money for being hospitalised for nothing. haha. it all happened on fri when i woke up with a very bad tummy ache. it's not the normal gastric or cramp kind. i couldnt even bend due to the pain, but well, i still had to go to school cos got chem spa. after chem spa i went to see the doctor.
cos the pain is at the left bottom of the abdomen, where the appendix is, i'm suspoected to have appendicitis. SUSPECTED. alright, so i went for blood test, urine test. then they were afraid that the pain will get worse so they decided to put me under observation in the hospital for a day. then after that i went for CT scan. drank two cups of dont know what liquid, and it tasting horrible. super bad, felt like puking when i drank it- i think it's some radioactive chemical? then got another injection. ;(
after the admission stuff into the ward is done, i went inside and in no time, the doctor came in with the CT scan results. it doesnt show that i got appendicitis, and i was like, oh, so what am i doing here? :( well, still under observation? cos they say some realy early stages of appendicitis cant be shown on CT scan. then they put me on drip on antibiotics. haha. it felt quite weird to have a very small pipe inserted to my hand. it was really nothing la.
oh oh, shao and linx came and i was so shocked! cos i didnt tell them my room number, but at least dora told me before hand. haha. thanks babes! love you guys loads. =P
well so yea, what an experience huh? to get hospialised for nothing. even the doctors say that they are just being too overly cautious. xiao ti da zuo. haha. one thing good is that i got nothing to do except to study there cos my mom went back home for cell group and my phone batt was almost flat. haha. so i just study!!
I still thank God that He has protected me thus far from all illnesses and pain for i knoe that by His stripes my pain is taken away. =P
Promos starting this fri! jia you!! shine for God and glorify Him. =P let His word and promise come to pass!!

haha.

haha. well, i really really love life. =P but well, i still cant deny the fact that promos is coming in 24 days!! and i barely started my revision! well oh well. actually i wanted to start on the friday of 27th, but was like making boonkiat's crown and cake, so i just ended up doing my tutorials and sleeping at 3! man.. then the next morning watch charlie again, for the third time with sally then went for lunch. after cell i was watching hilda play badminton with pastor. some people just dont LOOk like they can play but they can!! like hilda. haha. when she plays, she's still like tai-tai, ever so demure and gentle but no joke, she's quite good. hehe. then the next day got the boonkiat thing lo, and just do tutorials and SOME chem mcq. oh, i pon-ed school on tue and wed and it wasnt productive at all! on tue i went to buy my new phone lo, as some of you know that my phone died after struggling in the swimming pool. however, it is still found faithful to its master when it survived just for me to transfer my contacts to SIM card. Thank God! He always listens to my prayers, I simply love Him!! and He creates miracles that are unthinkable. haha. so it's true that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. =P
another day spent not studying when i went out with boonkiat to buy his shoe. why am I such a procrastinator? I can never find the self-discipline to study! who can help me but God? then on wed i basically just practised piano again and again cos i was so nervous abt piano exam.
on thursday we had bible study and since it's teachers' day, we sang the song 4L wrote for teachers' day 2003 tot he tune of dong jia by JJ but changed lyrics to pastor. haha. was very satisfied and proud of the class!! yay! that the song's still so meaningful!! haha. 4L rocks to the core man!! =P so glad that the people liked the song too. hahaha.
this is the day!! my piano exam! i was so nervous that i played some parts of each piece wrongly, i just dont know why, the parts which i never play wrongly was a bit wrong. but still, i'm trusting GOd for everything cos i believe that it can be another time where His grace can be shown upon me and that He can turn my weakness into strengths as long as I put my trust in Him. I always thank GOd for being there for me, giving me the support. i really dont know what i'll do without Him.
on friday night i went for the 3D2N cruise to nowhere. haha. so angry with myself. i'm supposed to go there to study cos i tot that there won't be anything going on, no activity so i can really get off all distractions and study on the deck. what did i end up doing? SINGING KARAOKE and EATING!!! i eat and eat and eat NON-STOP till i feel so so so so fat now. think i gained like 1 or 2 kg la! argh! i feel like puking when i see food, but once i eat, haha. i'll not stop. am i turning into some glutton or what? =(
argh!! study study i must study!! but will I? dont care. i MUST! God, can YOu give me the revelation and drive that i'm studying for YOu?? =P I wanna study! i shall punish myself terribly if i continue to be so slack! yes, i will!

lovin' everything

well, you may think that i'm mad that i can be so low and get so high suddenly!! haha. yeah, I am high! loving my life so much! everything has been going on quite well. because yea yea, i finally opened up to sophie and it felt GOOD! haha. felt so good. everything is also working out very well! i guess last time is because i think too much that i am so upset over my whole life. but now, i'm refreshed once again, renewed, with the presence of God back into my life. i Just feel so so excited for Him! yeah man! WooHoo~
hahaha... my piano exam is in 1 week's time! i'm not very ready but i have practised much more in this week than the past 1 year! haha. not that i pactise a lot, just that i do not practise at all last time. hahah. yeah yeah, so it's also getting better. i'm just worried whether i'll be too nervous on that day itself. well, for this i guess no one except God knows the answer. I really need to get His strength and peace down into my life orh~! hehe. if not i'll have mind block and break down there. haha. well, but praise GOd, He has brought me this far! yay! and He loves me, and you too, for who we are and not what we do. hehe.He's always there for us. it's just a matter whether we go and reach out to Him and ask for His help. well, He loves everyone-- even the non-Christians so if you guys got any problems that you cant solve, just pray to JEsus and be prepared to see miracles. well, of course you have to believe that He can help. anyway no harm trying right. =P
yeah man, life does rock! and off i go to prepare for VC concert and mug for promos! I want to get at least a C5 for GP! and pass bio! woo~~ studying for God.

hate this.

man, i really really hate this fake life. just trying to make everything seem alright when that thing is not alright. well, though i know that when that thing's not right, everything wont be. but argh, why? i want to make it right, have been wanting for so long, but i never get down to getting it right. argh, God, why is it like that? i really don want to lead this life with dry spiritual routines and duty but i want to do this because i love You. God, can I? arh! Devil! stop procrastinating in me! well, finally i sort of started doing it in my room just now, felt so super bad to Him. but yea, i wont deny that it's always because of my laziness. i know i dont need to be fake in front of Him, cos He's my big daddy up there right. feel so fake. been so fake. when can i end this fake life? i know the answer-- but how am I going to do it? God, i want to, you know that, but am i willing to? i want to, but will i do it? argh!!! i cant discipline myself! argh!! God, You really got to work in me for this, and help me!!

piano exam is coming. it dawned on me today when i was talking to mingtse about it. it's 2 weeks away!! ok, though it's only grade 5, but i only started piano like 4 yrs ago and i stopped for 2 1/2 years. and last yr when i started again was like O level so didnt do anything much. and i was so lazy. never practise at all. once again due to bad self discipline. VERY BAD! ok, today i felt so bad that i went home and practised for 1 1/2 hours, but is it too late? i know that even if it's too late, it's better than not practising, but still, God, i want to pass this exam. looking at my standard now, i'll fail for sure- my fingers are super not stable. GOd, how? You must help to keep me focus and be able to concentrate in everything that I do.


-------ONLY FOR THE LORD----------
Dear Lord Jesus, I thank You so much for giving me this precious life that I should never waste every single day. Lord, I just pray that your presence will be so vivid in my life, that i cant live one day without your presence. lord, i just pray that you'll be able to help me fulfil this burden in my heart, to find back the first love. lord, i really really want to do that, and i want to stop this dry religious duty and routine and want to get back to when i first start loving you, worshipping you and serving you just for the sake of you only, cos i love you. lord, i pray that i will have a breakthrough in my spiritual life. lord, i know that you know what i'm thinking and i believe that lord, you'll help me along. lord, i pray that that you'll just pour your mercy and grace upon me so that i can continue this life to be a blessing to the people around me, and i pray you'll give me the unconditional love so that i can love the people around me, for i know that you love them. lord, i pray that you'll help me to remain focus and be able to concentrate in everything i do so that i can get back on the right track with you again. lord, i want to lead this life as a worship to you. i want to just lie flat on the ground, humble myself down and kiss your feet. i give you all i am in exchange of all of you. can you pls kindly tell me what you want me to do for you that can please you? i really want to stop living this kind of life and i know that you know how horrible and bad i'm feeling right now. lord, this life is really yours to use and work through. lord, i thank you for listening to my prayers and i believe that i am going to be changed after today. thank you lord. in jesus mighty name i pray, amen.
---------END---------------------------------



I GIVE

Come and fill me Holy Spirit
I seek the warmth of Your embrace
Lord I'm longing for Your presence
Just one touch of Your grace
I'll keep on waiting, waiting on You

All my life I've searched for heaven
My heart it longs for so much more
A love so true, now I've found it in You
I'll keep on waiting, waiting on You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet
I offer to You
For only You can satisfy my longing
Jesus You're all I desire

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice I place at Your feet
More than what this world offers
You are my only treasure
My world means nothing without You

www.cross.com.sg

nuttin'__

the past few days is just amazing. went to FOP 1 on friday. haha. well, it was such a hot day and i can seriously feel sweat trickling down my legs. haha. but it was all worth it! i was actually wuite pissed off by the usher cos nian ying as obviously queueing with us and i saw the usher looking at her go out and yet when she wanted to get back into the queue, he said that she must give her name to the usher. like hello?? Your fellow ushers look at her go out! then i told him and he said, 'i'm sure my friend there will take down her name', i was like urh. feel like boxing him if i weren't wearing my uniform, cos it'll reflect really bad on you huh? haha. but who cares, they still got in and sat on the floor seats. haha. the session was very good. the presence of God was vry strong, though it's not that kind that makes you cry, but you still can feel it. it's like this very peaceful and nice feeling on the inside. and colin dye was very good also, he was saying that we have the apostolic faith inside us to connect with God in the Spirit, isn't it true? =D darlene is very good, delirious is also very good. haha. we just had fun praise and worship- just that i don't really know delirious' songs.

went to indo the next day and i was so tired. haha. nothing much to do, just eat. so yea. haha. then the next day went to KPN's 26th anniversary at the park. at first it's a big walkathon first at 6.30am. then the final destination is the park. it was so so boring until it's time for the directors to compete in cooking. haha. apparently, guzhang won la. he was so zai in frying the rice and gugu, obviously, is very particular about decorating it so hers is super nice but took the longest to form. anyway, it's still funny that dad won second. he only won in clealiness la. haha. weird, but fun overall. then went home to watch CHC's 16th anniversary through the internet. argh, they look like they're having so much fun and blessing! arh, i also want to go. and i feel that the message is so so good, arh, i wanna bring my frens. hate this feeling. argh..

CROSS is finally out! and stupid me only realised that 'live' worship album is not worship only. ahaha. it was good! when i listened, i got goosebumps on my hands! it was quite good that you hear a CD where you know all the songs and it's anticipated for such a long time. =P

yepx, came back today. hey peeps, how was the national day concert in school? how did we do? can someone kindly tell me? dying to know..

there are 4 ways to which a person assume of being loved:
- material gifts (e.g. money, presents, things that you want/like)
- Kisses, hugs (through touch)
- serving (helping you in different ways for different things)
- just spending time talking, sharing with each other.

which way do you assume of expression of love? =P

bdae party

so sorry peeps that i promised to come back and update on what happened that night, but i didnt. cos i was way too tired. yepx, so here i am! actually wanted to put the photos we took but since i'm still to lazy to upload it, maybe next time.

cell that day was fun, and the sermon was very good. during cell, andy came and i was actually wondering whether i should go out and say hi to him, but still, i didnt cos i thought that even after cell, he'll still be there. but he left already! and i felt so so bad when lala told me that he came to singapore to buy our present, so sweet of him right? hmm, thanks ya ddyy.. =P really appreciate it loads, your classic pooh. haha.. still feeling bad for him, that he came to singapore without anything done! man, what a lousy cousin i am. ok, i'll try to compensate the next time i see you? haha..

after cell we waited for the others to come, like those from jac's cell and some others like boonkiat, michelle, sally, pastor, etc. well, although only sally turned up, it's still very fun! haha. while waiting, we took a lot a lot of photos and talked. haha. finally after waiting for about 1 hour, they came. so we just had bbq and talked. then ahso and koko came so i was talking to them also. haha. basically i just talked? and while the rest eat, i only got to eat a sausage and a bite of chicken chop. not that they bully me, but i talk too much. haha.

oh ya, i got a 3+3 kg cake! at first i only got a 3 kg cake from awfully chocolate and in the car, josephine sat on it!! I was so so so angry that i screamed at her, and the only thing i wanted to do is to get the original cake, not the one with smudged cream, though she didnt spoil the cake. quite ridiculous of me right? ok, my dad bought for me another 3 kg cake from hagen dazs and i felt super bad cos really la, it wasnt spoilt. oh no. haha. but it's ok! we've finished it anw.

zhenyi, krys and tiff came and i was like trying to spy on them to see whether they brought a can of whipped cream of sth. haha, blame it on my purchase on that can of whipped cream on krystle's bday. haha. but well, they didnt!! woohoo~~ but they made this strawberry trifle that tastes not bad but looks bad. and the hygiene cant make it also. they were saying that at first they arranged the straawberry according to my name already, then when they pour the jelly down, the strawberried started to float so you know what? they used their hands to keep the strawberries down! man, how clean is that! haha.. so we ended up with 3 cakes. not all mine la, share it with jac.

oh, and jac blew 12 of my candles! so i ended up blowing 5 candles! haha. then she'll be 30 years old and i'm 5! yay!! ahaha..

then after that mum called from north carolina and i was tlaking to her that i suddenly got so high. i ran straight to the cake, scrape the cream, and put it on zhenyi's face. haha. she was talking to her member on the phone so could not retaliate. haha. it was so funny. ai, then pauline put on my face! and she was like not excited or what, she just came, put on my face, stood at one side and continued eating her cake. hmm, but i'll never smear cream on her face anyway. haha. ok, then i got naughty and put on krystle's face. argh!! a mistake. then the cream war started and everyone has cream on their hands, ready to smear it on someone else's skin. haha.

when everything was over, i found krystle at the dining room and she was telling me about some photo she took of jac, made me promise a hundred times not to tell jac. to think that i trusted her so much. haha.. then she started showing me all the photos she taken when she took out her cast and within a moment, i was in the pool!! krystle liew!! you're gonna get it from me and jac once you take out your cast!! hmmph!!

ok, she asked me to hide cos she's gonna do the same thing to jac. so i was walking to the toilet behind and lo and behold, i saw zhenyi coming out!! haha. so i targeted her to be my next victim and with jac's help, she too landed in the pool. ok, zhenyi, i do agree that you are the most wu gu, getting facial cream and wet. ahha. but didnt you ahve a lot of fun too?and if you're not wet, your dad wont allow you to stay over right? ahha. or maybe he will. hmm, but that's an experience, isnt it? nvm, we still got lala's bdae!! ahaha.. *evil laugh*

ok, so when everything ended, i was super tired. haha. but isnt it a memorable birthday? when you are around people with the common love and goal-- the love of God that comes and change lives? haha. thanks peeps, for everything! love you guys! and of cos also to those who wished me happy birthday, appreciate it a lot! MEL, it's ok that you sms me only in the evening, at least you remembered!! love you derling.. =P

choir this week has been fun. we just tried to dance, sing and be high for the national day concert. but it's really very high. at least that's what i think, that it made me sad that i cant go. but peeps, i'll give you my support and i hope i've helped you all enough in this first J1 project. love ya guys loads. everything has been just fine for me! that i think i'm going CRAZY! haha..

bible study today was very very good. it's about evangelism, the benefits, costs, ways and eveyrthing about it. and it's been so long since we last had one. so it's not surprising that we had it for 3 hours? ahha.. somewhere there. yep yep, before i go on and become hyper and mad, i better go off le!!

GOd rocks! He's always there when you need Him, when you THINK you dont, and even when things are not right. He's just there, it's up to you to see and feel His presence. Life rcks, treasure it, my dear. I wanna go FOP tml!!! yay~!! bev, lou, qi, joy all going! then we can come together again, just like how we used to! yay! miss you guys loads and we're gonna have such a great time worshipping and praising the Lord!! Lord, do let your presence flow down and touch the empty hearts! I LOVE YOU!! =D

nothin

been full eleven days since i last updated my blog. today is my birthday!! haha.. woo~~

these few weeks has been fun and yea, with God's strength, i pulled through everything! CHoir has been fantastic, and we sang very very well for the choral presentation in esplanade. rioHC rox! on wed we had a simple handover cum farewell thing and everyone was crying! it was just so sad that the J2s have to go home and study, leaving u J1s with Ms Lim. Will we be the 2nd batch of pokemon or the pokemon legend just ends there? It's sure hard to keep the reputation up there, but no matter wat, we will do it. WE MUST DO IT, to quote what val said. hahaha..

everything has been just fine, like i had choir everyday last week, and the workshop with the american clinician is so fun. haha. she asked us to flirt, with what? a nonsense song? coconuts? haha. and she said we were very expressive! so funny. yeap, went through all the stress and everything for ELIJAH ROCK and that was our best song. i think my paragraphing is so unstructured but ai, who cares? not a GP essay or what. just that i Have too many things to write and this keyboard is just so not comfortable. haha..

yesterday night lots of people already sms-ed me happy birthdays but i come to realise that it is so ironic that those whom i was close with are the first ones to wish me. thanks guys! and i do appreciate it a lot for your effort to remember and wish me. but i guess that's life right? you can never expect anything from anyone. that's why, look up to God for everything. He will not disappoint you nor forsake you. Thanks God that i have God by my side. =P

going to have a bbq later and think i'm gonna have so much fun. haha.. and i'm going indo next week!! haha. well, i think i'm super hyper so before i type all the 'haha's out, i better run off! bye! take care guys! love you lots.. i'll be back tonight! haha.. cheers, agape

God! Help me! I'm in desperate need for Your strength! I'm just about to breakdown! this few weeks has been super super hectic for me. Siva rushing us to do everything for PW. can you imgaine? first draft of written report by next friday and my group has not even finished the survey and interviews! the worst thing is that everyone is super busy this weekend, so when can we find the time to meet up? argh!! and by this friday he wants to see our group project file. guess what? i only found two articles and the greatest thing is that the computer with printer got no internet! somehow it cant connect. like so sad.

Oh, and I also got choir everyday this week! monday was normal prac, tue is FDR for HC arts fest, wed is FDR for SYF presentation at esplanade, thu is workshop with american clinician at CCAB, sat is choir prac. you'll never know if there is prac on fri. and despite of hard work, we're still not up there yet. especially for elijah, every time the song starts, it doesnt start right. ARGH!!!!! and all the practices are really draining all our energy away. but we have no choice. we have to sing well this time in spite of the blaspheming ticket price of $3. it's ok, we must be a professional choir, shining for every performance we have. it's just taking up quite a lot of time and i have to miss quite a few lessons this week. argh! argH! so i cant get back my econs essay and bio block test paper, cos i'll be leaving early for wed and thur. argh! not that i mind, but argh! anyway, i still love choir. haha.

this thurs is my chem test for independent learning, kinetics and energetics and oh my, i havent even started studying. help me! argh! and i got lots of tutorial to catch up with! this week like got 5 biology tutorial lessons. =( argh! I'm like so stressed. i want time, time, time.

God, i just want to commit everything that i am doing in YOur hands, I give You all I am in exchange for all of You. Lord, I really long for Your presence, Your wisdom, Your power and strength. Oh God, I thank You for everything that has happened and is going to happen in my life. I'll continue to trust in You for You are my solid rock on whom i can depend.

Block test...

been so super long since i last blogged huh? hehe. gues i've been too busy about the block test. it's finally over! woo~! seriously, i felt that i've not done my best, as in i didn't do the paper properly, and i didn't study enough either. the whole block test was quite horrible, in the sense that I didn't complete one paper of each subject. and I just felt so terrible after the paper that one day I just broke down and cried. the first subject-GP wasn't very well done, I felt that AQ was lousy, chem was blegh. everything was just not good. my maths, which is the only hope I had, wasnt good either. as in my calculator batt went flat and i can literally hear the devil laughing at me, once again. scary right? i was sort of having a spiritual warfare during the paper, and I was like God, how come the batt went flat at this paper, what am I supposed to do? so i was praying till i felt His peace. then i went to press the calculator and it came back! praise God! but still, felt that i won't do well. so can you imagine how upset I was by the end of the week, well, more of depressed. and i just can't have that faith in Him, though i want to, but there's just this thought- you're going to fail. so sad right?

On friday, joined mummy's adult cell and pastor was sharing about living your life for Christ, how we get our prayers answered by praying for something in His name, that can glorify Him. i was so encouraged by the message i forced myself to have faith in Him, no matter what. i don't deny that i still have doubts but everytime i thought about the paper, i'll pray and proclaim that i'm putting it into His hands. so that weekend was quite ok for me, as in i felt the peace of God, and i believe that He'll open a door for me to glorify Him somehow. =P so yea.. hehe. was so happy that I turn back to hold on to Him.

the next thurs, I got my papers back. woo~ I did quite ok. haha. like my math, miraculously, got 75- just an A. not a mark less nor more. isn't God good? He just helps you in time. God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. and my chem got 71, which is a B- but i thought it was way more than what I expected already. also, got back P1 and P2 of my econs. got 40/50! waiting for the other 25 marks essay. isn't Gos just wonderful? I believe 100% that without Him, everything has been so impossible. everything will just fall apart. and seriously, He is the God who cares for all things, not only spiritual things, but more of character. and I just simply love His greatness.

Block test.

Block test is over!!! hahahaha... so happy! today's bio paper was a total killer. i really don't know how to do, but it's ok! I shall just rely on His strength for everything, for I know that everything is according to His plan and in everything that happens, I'll be able to bring glory to His name! Let Your will be done, that i can just bring glory to You.

now I'm getting back to my normal life, where i don't have to study ONLY! =P i'll just wait for my results to be out. =P

God's Word

this whole studying period has sort of drawn me closer to God.
"My child, I want you to go all the way out to reach out to your friends. ALL THE WAY OUT. and know that I am going to give you the courage and strength to get the words out of your mouth."
Yes, Lord. If that is what You want me to do to make You happy, I'll do that. =P

an ordinary person working for an eXtraordinary God, to do eXtraordinary things in an eXtraordinary way!!

Block test.

so super sian-ded by all the studying! it's all about BIO, CHEM, ECONS and MATHS. at first it is, but after that it's not. it's more about glorifying God with everything that I do.

went back to Medan on fri. we had a short memorial service at home for ama's 1 year's bdae in heaven. isn't that wonderful? she didnt have to suffer everything in this earth, all the illness and pain, but she's in heaven, just worshipping God her whole life. she's walking on roads made of pure gold, not marble or what. and she's looking down on us, all praising God for bringing her up. the WL said a story which truly hit me: once, there was a family and the daughter of the family is getting married. at first they cried, thinking that they'll 'lose' their daughter. but looking at the couple so satisfied and happy, the tears of sorrow slowly became tears of joy. at first i thought that it was irrelevant to the occasion? after that he continued: similarly, when our beloved mom/ama went up to the heaven one year ago, it's inevitable that we'll shed tears of sorrow. even until now, when we think of her, we might still tear, but that'll be the tears that comes out as we remember the impact she made in our lives, the touch and difference that she created. =P

i just remembered years ago, she was still such a devoted Buddhist, praying in front of that altar in her house almost every single day, and she was just so so hard in the heart. but after talking to her, caring for her, praying for her, and everything, she became a believer. isn't that the most most amazing thing that can ever happen in life? her hardness in heart was just just so beyond words. but she even got baptised!! praise God. look at how true and perfect God's love is. she's really an example that inspired me, cos i've seriously never seen someone so devoted to her religion, that she really just dislikes Christianity, and yet God's love can touch her and she can be a believer. who can't then?

ok, enough of my short break!! shall get back to my bonding. i love to bond with God! not with molecules and ions!!

Me!

EXTRAORDINARY (Emerge 2005 theme song)

I'm walking on a new road
Livin' a brand new life
I've found myself a better way
Walkin' with Jesus every day

Lord you've taken me as I am
But I'm never gonna stay the same
In the power of your glory
I know I'll be forever and ever changed

(chorus)
Extraordinary, take my breath away
Extraordinary, make a brighter day
Extraordinary, way beyond the ordinary
Extraordinary

Nobody like you in all of the earth,
Nobody like you
Nobody like you in all the universe,
Nobody like you

woohoo~ this song is just so awesome! feeling quite high right now. because today i went for the volleyball thing and then went shoppin. well, havent studied for the day but i'm just so glad that i finally got my fathers' day and brendan's belated birthday present.

in the morning, went for cell(S?) outing. i think got like about 6-7 cells there. yea, cos we just multiply and pultiply. from 2 2 years ago to 6 now! woo~ praise God! It's really trough His grace that this is possible. reach sentosa's sunset bay at about 10, and then started playing at 11. it's like so cool, they got the loudspeaker and mic, everything there. so you can dedicate songs cos we got DJ, and they don't speak SINGLISH! haha. also got sell drinks, so everything is really made so easy for us. like lunch is bought, though we need to pay, of course. basically the girls in my group is just there to like erm.. pose? but we did TRY to get the ball k? though we didnt get. but we still had fun. haha. first match was basically one man's show- Boon kiat. i think if he didn't play for us, haha. none of us know how to start hitting the ball! haha. the second match was basically melanie and boy-boy playing. haha. but it's ok! we had fun looking. ;)

then after that went to taka to buy fathers' day present. been so so loong since i last went out- to shop!!! though not to buy anything for myself, it's really been a break! after today i must buck up le. jia you jia you jia you!! so sad this sat and sun cant go to cell and church. tomorrow going back indo. :( God, I really really want YOu!! come and take me away! (no, I don't wanna die) take my heart and soul away, back to YOu, that i can have the same heart and mind with You!! argh!!

back to mugging time~!! starting to lurve it~! haha. off i go to medan!!

My HappeNingZ--

hey peeps! such a looooong time since i last blogged. let me see, 1 week before? i guess i'm really just so into mugging. haha. can feel the urgency of Block test starting to crawl inside me. hehe. but GOd, I DON"T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO STUDY!! Why must the feeling come only now? I've wasted so much time slacking, and now i'm starting to regret wasting just a few days of my holidays away. to think that this is a holiday...

well, emerge ended on last thurs, and i had a day to rest on friday. of course, i just studied! haha. and then on saturday i went for choir practice in the morning, followed by my dearest 4Legendary/Legacy class outing. choir prac wasn't really a prac, it's just the handover and everything. haha. totally freaked out/ screwed up my SL 'trial'. but it's ok, at least it's an experience. anyway i do love shao and linx more than i love myself. and i'll always give them my full support. hahaha. knowing how bad my music/rythm can be. haha.

the class outing went on quite well, just that i received a slab of cake and cream on my head though it's not my birthdya. life isn't always fair huh? haha. just kidding. just that choir ended a bit late so i only got to meet Amelia at 2 to get Ms ow's prezzie when the class meeting at 3 at harbourfront. haha. then at harbourfront mall, Grace, Amelia and me went to get cake, chips, etc. haha. and we know we're super late. to add on to our anxiety, the bus terminal in Sentosa was just so super packed with people that we got fed up and decided to walk to Siloso beach, which is at the extreme end. well, so of course, without complains, we walked there. ha. blow candles, cut cake, take photos, isn't that what we'll do? but i miss them so so much that i really cant say anything. when i see them, i just feel like hugging them, one by one. that's so sad! yep, got cake on my head and when i came back, ARGH!! they're gonna leave. not everyone, but Janice, victoria, zhenli and MS OW!! i havent even talked to them. ;( after they went, we played dodgeball. haha. WE! and basically i just got hit before i even touched the ball. or basically, my team always lose. hahaha. what matters is the fun. it's very fun la. haha. just cant stop laughing when i think of it? after that we just sat there and talked. a thing that i'll treasure most. time sure flies when you're enjoying yourself? i do agree fully!!

next day was service. ming tse went with me, and to my surprise, maybe hers too, that she actually talks to people there! i thought that she talks even more than she does normally in school! hahah. hey girl, if you ever happen to read this, just wanna say that i love you, our big Daddy up there loves you even more and He wants a relationship with you. ;) glad that you're so open about it. take care k? keep shinin'!
after that i went for photohunt at west coast park. ok, it's very fun, i did enjoy myself but it was so tiring! haha. or maybe cos i ran. the next day i woke up with muscleaches all over? it's ok, i did enjoy it. hehe.

monday and tuesday was just studying, studying and studying. today's qi's bdae, went to celebrate but had to leave early. and then tomorrow i'm going to sentosa for volleyball match, then afternoon to buy fathers' day present. oh, I WANT TIME!! after emerge, i really got so inspired to study for God that i just wanna studya nd study!! arh! and also my piano exam like coming and i'm still playing. GOD,can You help me get serious about it? have control over my fingers and my mind, that I can have the discipline to play. help! TIME! to study, to fellowship and commune with Him, to talk to new friends!! GOd, since everyone has only 24 hours, i just pray You'll maximise my capacity to do mroe things and help improve my concentration! Thanks. ;) Love You!

EmerGez!! #3!!

Once I have turned my face from Thee
Yet You sought me
You cleansed me,
made me whole again
Jesus, my saviour,
my beloved and friend
Your praises I bring,
from my heart I sing

O draw me, o draw me away
Messiah today
to Your presence to stay.
Lord Jesus now change me,
and mould me
that I can be,
evermore true to Thee

YOU ARE THE SHEPHERD OF MY HEART
YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME TO YOUR CHAMBER
MY MASTER AND KING
YOU LIGHT UP MY DARKNESS
AND GAVE ME YOUR WORD
THAT YOU'LL NEVER FORSAKE ME
NOR NO EVER WILL LEAVE ME


another beautiful song? written by pastor kong. this song is just so anointed. it really pulls down the presence. Lord, this is really the cry of my heart, that even if everyone around me has backslid, I will never backslide oh Lord.

Today's service felt so short. in fact, it's the longest service but i FELT short. we started at 6.45 and ended at 11.30! we just worshipped and worshipped Him and just enjoy being in His presence, that by 9.30 sermon hasn't even start. But it felt good. even when he preached, tears just flow. can you imagine, crying for about 5 hours? no wonder my eyes are so sore and red. haha. but it still felt good, makes you want more, more and more.

the sermon was about the Holy Spirit, how He's a person, He carries a presence and power. His power is called the anointing, which can be likened to oil. Just like oil, which lubricates, burns to light up, moisturizes, the power does that. However, the oil in the oil tank can become stale, spoilt, contaminated. so we have to make an oil check regularly, to check if the anointing is still full to its brim. What we need to do so that the Holy Spirit can come: we need to get spritually hungry and thirsty. the Holy Spirit does not quench our thirst, but He makes you long for more and more. so let's have an encounter with God every single day!! We must start opening up to GOd- make room for Him in everything that we do, don't set pre-conditions. We also should surrender our life 100%. remove the axle 'I' and change it to 'God', so that it's He who lives in us. it's He who speaks, thinks, do, act, walk, talk. The service was just just so heart warming.we sang our famous love song, 'we're family that loves, loves, loves, loves one another. we're family that care, cares, cares, for sisters and brothers. through sunshine or rain, we will wtill be the same. we're a family that loves, loves, loves, loves one another.' and the last song to wrap everything up goes 'keep shining, keep smiling, knowing you can always count on me, for sure. that's what friends are for...' and it just lingers in the heart, with the presence. hoo~ how i long for more of You. it's really a place where the unwanted feels Your love.

it was really a day for me. like i got phone calls to tell me to go down to school for interview for choir ex co. i didnt run, guess someone nominated me. and i didnt receive any prior notice. i guessed they forgot or just that the sms doesnt reach australia. haha. but it's ok. don't worry guys! I was so in a mess- I didn't know what to run for, whether it's God's will for me to run- I just know that i want to run for it. I want to, but I can't, i Guess. So i rejected it. I can't because I'm holding on to church and studies right now. I'm not sure if I can cope with my studies, church and choir. and it'll be so irresponsible if I run for a post, take it up and don't do my best for it when I can't cope. the worst thing is that if I can't cope, I'll be forced to let go of church, I guess. Cos studies is of course a must, choir is sth that once i take up, I can't just throw it away. But for church, it is the only option that concerns my decision. and it's so not going to be worth it to let go of God. not only the time, but energy? motivation, strength? to reach out so that i can do greater and greater things for Him. Seriously, I rather serve God. well, I hope I won't regret the decision I made.

I was so inspired by all the testimonies, and stories, that I pledged that I'll never live a day without being in His presence. That's the only way that I don't dry up, so that the fire keeps on burning. The conference is over, but it's the beginning of the great works that we're gonna do, revival in schools, fulfilment of dreams and visions. Don't die for Him, but lives for Him, for it's even more difficult to live than to die for Him. gambatte!! shine for the Lord!
Lord, I give You all of me, in exchange for all of You. come Lord, and touch me!! ^.^

EmerGez!! #2!!

Bila kubuka mataku If I open my eyes
dan lihat wajahMu And look at Your face
Kuterkagum I'm amazed

Bila kulihat hidupku If I look at my life
dan karya tangan-Mu and all that you've done
kutersanjung I'm in awe
kar'na semua yang baik For everything that is good
didalam hidupku In my life
itulah karyaMu is what Your hands have done
Kau b'ri k'sempatan yang baru You gave me a new chance

DAn kuingin mengenalMu Tuhan And I want to know you Lord
Lebih dalam dari s'mua yand kukenal Deeper than anything else that I know
Tiada kasih yang melebihi-Mu There's no love more than Yours
Ku ada untuk menjadi menyembahMu I exist to be Your worshipper

Beautiful song, isn't it? It just keep on ringing in my head. and also, "So I look to You, So I look to YOu. No one else will do, no one else will do (x2)"
Lord oh Lord, how can i ever express how much You mean to me? without You, I'll never be able to come that far. Lord oh Lord, how much I long for more of You, more of Your touch. So Lord, right now come oh Lord, and give me new visions and dreams, to do things for your Kingdom. Oh Lord, I love You. You're prince of peace, amazing, wonderful, merciful, holy, anointed, everlasting, patient, faithful, etc. Lord, how can I ever repay You with my life? You've done so much for me, that nothing I do can ever repay it, Lord. I'm coming back to the heart of worship.

Today has been another wonderful day. the conference rawks! more because of the presence of God so strongly felt there. We spent more than one hour each service justpaise and worshipping the Lord and at every service, the people will just kneel down, come before the Lord and cry out to Him and I believe that lives are changed, hearts are renewed, fire is rekindled and everything that there is, it helps you move on to the next level.

The morning session was about making room for God, how in a room there must be a bed, table, chair and lampstand. He moves only when he finds room in the place. Bed means a bed of faith, that without faith it is impossible to please God. Faith is a decision and it will not limit God. Similarly, God will not limit faith. Faith is the element that will attract Him. Table means a place of fellowship. That we must spend time fellowshipping, communing with Him. and not rush through the time but just let it flow. The Holy Spirit wants to come and give us a greater adventure, if only we can make room for Him. Chair- throne. God is enthroned! so we must come back to the heart worship, to have a heart of worship. Our mind might move quickly, but we have to pull it down to pulsate with oour heart and our heart click with GOd's heart and boom-we'll go to the next level, there'll be breakthroughs. lampstand means light. Our key to sustain revival is the Bible. It is a book which is lives on the Earth. No one can take out anything or add anything to the things inside. It is the sword that helps us overcome giants. At the service, I was so challenged to start to make room for God in my studies, quiet time, and everything that I do, so that everywhere I go, the power and presence will be with me. Till now, it is still the cry of my heart.

The night was another phenomenal one. It was a short sermon, about the tribes that judge Deborah sent invitation to, to kill the enemy. I'll always be Zebulun and Naphtali, who are willing to put down what they're doing to come, lay down everything before GOd, and finally they won!! Lord, it'll be so so sad if one day when we die, we're separated. really don't want that to happen. I think that the accummulative presence these 2 days have really impacted me and changed my life. I pledge that I'll become more on fire and never to dry up again. Lord, I simply want to wait and wait on You.

EXTRAordinary, way beyong the ordinary, EXTRAordinary. My God is...

EmerGez!! #1!!

spent 14 hours in church todae!! but it was all all worth it. hoo~ i'm just so fired up now. haha. today marks the beginning of the three-days life changing experience, and it's already so so good. wonder how it will be in the next two days! the first session was on why reaching out to youths is so important. can you imagine: 1 in 4 people in Taiwan and China, 1 in 3 people in Malaysia and Indonesia, 1 in 2 people in India are teenagers! And if we go and change the youth of today, we're not just going to influence the society but also the future! they're gonna be future leaders right. and the place where they are concentrated is like in schools campuses. 99% of the leaders of the world today are educated, and their values they implace are actually gave onto them, stuck to them in their youth? so our youth is super super important and I'm so not going to waste it away. Yes, Lord, I'm gonna commit all that I am to You and just lay down my life for You, to go all out to click with Your dreams and visions. I love You- more than anything in life. I'm so gonna do things for Your Kingdom! Yea, You never let me go and I just pray that no matter what happens, I'll cling on to You and never grow dry.

After that was talentime! they had the decibels reading to measure the audience's response to the performances to determine the best performance award!! It's like so cool. but yea, this year not a lot of people from cell got in. ;( It's ok! The people up there are also my dear bro and sis in Christ and the best thing is that they're are performing for the glory of the Lord! yea~ Jia you guys!

Went to queue for the 7.30pm session at the staircase. haha. it sure does kill you. If you all know me well enough, you know that I don't really sweat even after I finish my 2.4km run? but just now, my sweat just trickles down and I'm like super sticky and wet. I shine! haha. it's really like being in the steam room. can you imagine? A long staircase from B4 to lvl 1, without any door or window? but with spotlight? and with hundreds of people packing in there? ha. when we were going down, the floor is wet! with all the sweat. the wall, even ceiling got water dew. hahaha. must be mad right. but it's all worth it when you get into the hall.

The 7.30pm session was more than marvellous, wonderful, whatever you can describe it. The presence was so there even during worship and I do agree with Pastor that we should not rush everything but spend more time worshipping cos it's the time where the presence comes and touch, transform, convict hearts. so just now, during worship, everyone just knelt down, including Pastor Kong and Sun, BVs, etc. everyone was weeping! you can just feel the touch, flowing from every corner- even the people in the overflow rooms are weeping. God, we love You. We want more of You. the message was short-30min- but impactful. It's about spiritual hunger and thirst. It makes me realise how much I've missed these months and how dry I have become. and of course, I wept like mad. didnt even bother taking out tissue. Now I just want to be more and more hungry and thirsty after the Lord, His Kingdom, His Word, His presence, His heart, His will, visions and dreams. I'll be more and more hungry each day!! Love you so much.

as you can see, the day has been full of hmm.. memories? going mad, shouting, screaming, jumping, dancing during praise, weeping, crying out, kneeling during worship, talentime, queueing, etc. haha. well, I'm sure the next two days will be an even more bombastic meetings. Anw, you guys out there, CHC is the soolest place in town!! we dye our hair, do hair extension, do everything we can, to be IN, to shine and get into the world out there. We are ordinary bunch of people doing eXtraOrdinary things for God and with GOd. We are cool, minus the drug, sexual immorality, and plus the power, anointing, blessings, grace and finally, and open heaven. GOd I LOVE YOU!! :) so lookin forward to later!

AuStRaLiAn ExPeRiEnCe

Just came back from Queensland-Australia, so here i am to pin down my thoughts!! overall, the trip was super fun, tiring but the time was A Time To Cherish, definitely. Firstly, maybe that's because I was quite exhausted and sick of school routines and the things I do. Secondly, I guess through this week my family really got closer by a lot. Josephine is still that book-worm, but we've talked really a lot and I realised that she's no longer the small sister I used to have. she's Primary 2! And apparrently she acts, talks, eats, more like Dad, Mum, Jac and me-as compared to Jess and Joanne. And she's been a big sister to the 2 smaller ones, just that she can be a bit unreasonable and stubborn. Jess talks less nonsense and after this week, it's been a sure change of her attitude. As in, she talks more and everything- sometimes she makes us laugh at her innocence. We've also payed lots of attention to the way Joanne talks, since she's the youngest and she's very pampered, but she's indeed very very smart.

Day1 (Sun-29/5/05)
Off we went to Brisbane. Still suffered from post-concert excitement, thus my eyes was red on my way there. like who sleeps on the plane? upon reaching Brisbane, the first breathe was overwhelming. Finally, finally- I've come out from the humid, sticky and torturous weather in Singapore. so off I went to Gold Coast, which is about 1 hour drive from Brisbane. The hotel reminds me of Mohegan Sun- where it was very very colourful and undoubtedly fun. after we checked in, we just went to ZEN- the chinese restaurant to have our dinner and turned in since everyone is excited about the next day.

Day 2 (Mon-30/5/05)
We walked down to the nearest McD to have our breakfast while Mom and Dad went to fetch the car we rented. Theme parks open at 10am, and we were actually ready by 10.30 but the car took so long to come. everyone was so fed up. after hours of waiting, it finally came asat 12.15.. grr.. super angry. that day we went to the currumbin wildlife sanctuary and looked at the wildlife in Australia- Koalas, Kangaroos, Wombat, Tasmanian Devils, Dinghos, Echidnas, etc. the funniest thing is that the maid and Joanne went to feed one of the birds and after that all the birds, ducks, geese, etc started coming towards them, one by one. haha. i should have captured their scared faces man. super funny. haha. we went to feed the kangaroos, and Phine, Joanne and Dad took a picture holding a baby crocodile. haha. Joanne was so scared! her face was green.



Day 3 (Tue- 31/5/05)
Farmstay~! the journey took 2 hours+ and when we reached there, we literally did nothing for the day. except for feeding the horses with one whole bag of carrots, went to do some shopping for groceries, helped out in cooking dinner, do maths tys (a teeny weeny bit) and sleep!



Day 4(Wed-1/6/05)
Woke up early for the acticities planned by the farmers. first, we went to press for cow's milk. it felt a bit disgusting, but yeah, experience. after that we went to feed the calves with super big milk bottles. they're just so adorable. the next one is the duck, sheep, chicken. we went to collect chicken eggs, a ride on the four wheeler motorbike on the farm, horse ride. there are just so many things to do and write, that I cant really say how i feel, but definitely things that are pleasant. ;) we then went to the custard apple plantation.



Day 5 ( Thurs-2/6/05)
We're on our way back to Gold Coast! the farmstay was indeed a remarkable one- with the environment, peace, just simple everything! we went to the woolshed on the way and looked at how they shed the wool of the sheep. really pity the sheep, geeting shaved in winter. after it's being shaved, it was imbalance and hence could hardly walk. i went to shave it too, and the person gave me a bunch of wool for souvenir. like it a lot but it's so smelly. hehe. but i brought it back anyway. went to Dreamworld. took a picture with spongebob and patrick! haha. went to ride wipeout. it makes me so giddy. it just turns and turns but it turns slowly so you can feel you head low and legs high up. also went to ride roller coaster and the flume ride. haha. Joanne was so happy she keeps on laughing. so many more rides, but i guess it's just normal theme parks. had a super long and exhausting day. happy birthday Pastor SUn!!



Day 6 (Fri-3/6/05)
Happy Brithday ah so!! ;)
we went ot movie world today and the Spooky scooby-doo ride is the first one we took. it was a deceiving roller coaster. maybe because it's scooby-doo, everyone thought it wasnt scary. haha. but it was. but still fun. guess Jess scared her guts out and so she refused to take any other rides except for those kiddy ones. hhaa. the ride stopped halfway and Jac and I were wondering is it because of Mom? haha. but turned out to be not, an elderly had fainted! but otherwise, it was just another theme park. sounds like i'm bored? nah, nothing of that sort but i was sick of theme parks. haha.

Day 7 (Sat-4/6/05)
Our last day there. so sad. today we didnt go to sea world. all because of me. it's just that i don't think our last day there should be in another theme park. so that day, we went to eat lobster, then went ot the beach and played the waves. it was so much fun. haha. expecially with the three younger sister. they were enjoying themselves so much. haha. the beach was so beautiful- the water is clean and clear, the sand is white and clean, and when the sun shines down, it just glimmers. when you reach there you'll really feel how great God is, to create such a beautiful earth. can you imagine heaven? it is indeed GOLD coast. =P at night, finally i got the chance to shop. but we didnt go to oulets so the stuff is still very ex. like a shirt costs AUD$40, which is S$56, given the exchange rate of 1.4.. hhaa. so ended up buying nothing.




Day 8 (Sun-5/6/05)
came back to Singapore and still struggling to survive given the weather. hahaha.

this trip was indeed, undoubtedly enjoyable. time to come back to reality!! study for block test!! jia you!!
WOHOO~~ tomorrow is the long waited emerge conference!! i wanna be extraordinary and emerge!! yay!! looking forward to it so so much. ;) hehe. but i must construct my timet able for studying again. way too far from it le. ;)