a few days.

things have been quite bad these 2 days. argh, no, just that i got very bad PMS and everyday i dont sleep properly, can't sleep. so it's bad, make PMS even more. rawr.

what's the point of gaining everything if you lose your own soul?

my face is peeling, and it's burning, thanks to Retin-A. Mom say i put too much. haha. remember last time i dont even apply the medicine after i go to the doctor, and now i'm putting too much. see how different I am? =)

2 days ago the share broker came and explained everything to me. luckily he's a nice guy, always teaching, if not i would have felt even stupid-er. who ask me to not know anything about it? hah. must learn from scratch. hey joce, thank God that you got the chance to play! =) auntie vincy has been very very nice about the internship too, way too nice already.

met dear dora yesterday. =)=)=)

after that had voice. man, how can Peter be SO good? argh, i just can't express myself, and what's singing without expression? i admit i was super conscious over myself and was very nervous. haha. another side of me, i dont have confidence. =( it can be scary why i am so scared. stupid right? yeah. and chinese songs are all about loving but not being able to have it -- broken-hearted -- yeah, i dont know how it feel. haha. and i dont want to try. i shall just try singing it out anyway, but not experiencing it. =)=) all the vocal expressions, the moaning sound, airy sound etc. argh!!! i just don't get it. but it's ok, he asked me to explore at home. haha. but it was a good come-back after 1/2 year anw. =)=)

talked to lou at night, and as usual, conversation can't get shorter than 1 hour, but yesterday we crossed the line of 2 hours! crazy, that's the result of missing out too much info from about aug? haha. but still, love ya loads dear. =)

Lord, why can't everything be stable? i know i am at a much greater advantage than many people in terms of conditions and surroundings, but at least i see them trying and i am not. and i am sick and tired of myself 'repenting' everytime. it just make me disgust myself even more. i have to love myself. i have to love myself. i have to love myself.

Fires of Revival

I realised I'm into blogging nowadays, which is good. =)=) maybe cos i got nth to do. haha.

Prayer meeting was more than fantastic yeasterday. Super-dee-duper refreshing in my spirit. Finally, after such a long time, that I felt His presence once more. I don't know if the holidays and being so comfortable has made my heart grown cold and that a wall is built, that as much as I want to touch Him again previously, it seems so hard. but anyway, eveyrthing was sorted out yesterday. A touch changes.. A touch from heaven melts away the ice, and breaks the walls down. yipee~ =)=) isn't it wonderful, that life with Christ gets better and better each day and here I am now, standing in front of 2007, ready to face it. Everything has been good. Quiet time, Spiritual life, and yesh! Relationship!! =)=) Ever so important -- with myself, with God and people around me. And I realise mostly that when relationship with God is good, it will be reflected in many other areas of life, especially relationship with people. Finally took a step and talked to dear dora. wah, miss her loads. haha. a few more in line. yes, i need to get it going.

a song hit me hard yesterday.

FIRES OF REVIVAL
I CAME TO THE GATHERING OF THE PEOPLE OF THE LORD
AND FOUND MY WAY AMONG THEM TO HIS THRONE
I NEEDED TO RETURN UNTO THE ALTAR OF MY GOD
TO RENEW AGAIN MY CONVENANT WITH HIM

AND THERE I BUILD AN ALTAR TO HIS NAME
AND REALIZED MY LIFE
COULD NEVER BE THE SAME
AND THEN THE FIRE OF REVIVAL
CAME SWEEPING THROUGH MY SOUL
AND I TOUCHED THE HOLY PRESENCE OF MY GOD

COME BUILD AN ALTAR UNTO THE LORD
RETURN TO WORSHIP AND HEAR HIS WORD
AND THEN THE FIRE OF REVIVAL
CAME SWEEPING THROUGH MY SOUL
AND I TOUCHED THE HOLY PRESENCE OF MY GOD

nganggur

sian. everyday is just the same, nothing much to do. waking up so late, sleeping late too. And I seem to complain that there's nothing to do while the things i'm supposed to do are not done. Joce, you weren't this slack last time. boo~ and when work starts i got even less time for myself. which is bad.

Listening to Colors of the wind over and over again because of vocal lesson on Fri. Scared kena scold by Peter. haha.

Relationships have never been worse. Other than the church people, I seem to be an anti-social being. Feeling especially bad to my Hwa Chong dearies. bleagh. But i know if it drags on longer it'll be even worse. I care, I feel bad but I feel so bad about being not contacting them that I am afraid to break it. What if they're angry with me? argh. help.

Searching where I dropped myself. Pick it up. =)=)

2007..

2007. a new year with new hope. Lord, my prayer for this new year is that I can get to know you better. i know this requires more than just patience in waiting for your presence, it also needs discipline, desire and i have to be careful of Distractions. So I simply lift myself up into Your hands, I thank you for being so evident in my life, but that's not enough. i know there can be something mroe to it. In this new year, please teach me how to yield myself more unto You, that I will and can seek FIRST the Kingdom of God, cos I know everything else will then fall into path. I don't want to waste my time Lord, for I know that time is short and that it also represents my life, so while I still can, I want to catch on to the dream, the opportunity and make the best out of it.

2007 has been fine for me, I guess. Nothing much to do, slacking around with DVDs, computer games, gameboy, playstation etc. rawr. this is so cannot. joce, you need to do something more worthwhile! yes i do have to. go read your bible!

i really thank God for the chance to have a good talk with Kiki last sunday. and I so love the people God has put into my life. =)

BAck!!

ok, havent been blogging since As finishes, cos i left on the last day and you know it, during hols you dont really sit down and do sth. =) activities after activities. heh.

First, HAPPY NEW YEAR! In this new year, there must be new hopes, new beginnings, new motivation, new grace and anointing. I mean 2006 was great but there are many not that good memories too, so all those stuff shall not pull me down. =) God, in this new year I pray that I will really grow in You, get more and more serious and have breakthrough in the area of my spirituality and wisdom, I admit that I need a lot of guidance and Lord may those guidance be from you and you only. In Jesus name, Amen.

Holiday was great!! Spent 4 weeks in Indo, a few highlights are Hillsong COncert in Jakarta, SUbmarine ride in Bali, SHopping in Bandung. Had great great fun, with my dear family.

After that was like to US n Canada. It's a diff type of holiday because it's really packed with activities and going with 30 ppl is no ease. and knowing me, even if I dont agree with sth I'll just go with them simply bcos they're elders. rahr. and that sometimes hurt. heh. anyway, Whistler was more than fantastic. It was like heavens!! The snow was like powder and my ski instructor was a super enthusiastic girl that she brought us up to top of the mountain and told us to ski all the way down. woo~~ started with a crash with Andy and it was so funny. like he couldnt really control, but thank God the snow was really soft. other than being cold and the getting up, it wasnt that bad. and we took about 2 hours skiing all the way down. super tired, cold and still having jet lag so first day skiing was bad, but very memorable. haha. next 2 days was great, really. =)=) love whistler, love skiing, love the snow. snowmobile was a good experience too. snowball fights, making snowman are just a few things we did. many stupid things happened too! hah. like we bought one whole trolley, those in hotels for luggage, of food from the supermarket! hah. FUN.

LAS VEGAS. Good shows. Good hotel. Everything free. haha. went to watch mamma mia, david copperfield, kelly chen with vaness as guest. very good. all so worth it. =) hotel was good, went to red canyon. beautiful rocks, fun people. met uncle weisiong and family too. =) i realised that it is truly with my family that I dont feel pressurised, and so much at ease. Really thank God for them. =)

LOS ANGELES. Disneyland hotel was a bit old, but when you're with the right people, it doesnt matter. =) made a drama for pek2 n pekmu 25th anniversary and it went on well. really put in a lot of effort into it so it was all worth it. =) disneyland was fun, but the same everywhere. what's more fun is the cutting queue! haha. oops. yes we do that all the time. haha. even in toilet queues. haha. pin trading craze, posing for camera in rollercoasters etc. goodness, how crazy can we get?? =)

Yeah with every holiday, we have to go back to our own lives, that's why it's called HOLIDAY. I miss my family loads. But hey Joce, they have to go back to school, work etc, unlike you. So let them go alright? and now I want to go Australia, who would go with me?