Saturday, January 20, 2007

a few days.

things have been quite bad these 2 days. argh, no, just that i got very bad PMS and everyday i dont sleep properly, can't sleep. so it's bad, make PMS even more. rawr.

what's the point of gaining everything if you lose your own soul?

my face is peeling, and it's burning, thanks to Retin-A. Mom say i put too much. haha. remember last time i dont even apply the medicine after i go to the doctor, and now i'm putting too much. see how different I am? =)

2 days ago the share broker came and explained everything to me. luckily he's a nice guy, always teaching, if not i would have felt even stupid-er. who ask me to not know anything about it? hah. must learn from scratch. hey joce, thank God that you got the chance to play! =) auntie vincy has been very very nice about the internship too, way too nice already.

met dear dora yesterday. =)=)=)

after that had voice. man, how can Peter be SO good? argh, i just can't express myself, and what's singing without expression? i admit i was super conscious over myself and was very nervous. haha. another side of me, i dont have confidence. =( it can be scary why i am so scared. stupid right? yeah. and chinese songs are all about loving but not being able to have it -- broken-hearted -- yeah, i dont know how it feel. haha. and i dont want to try. i shall just try singing it out anyway, but not experiencing it. =)=) all the vocal expressions, the moaning sound, airy sound etc. argh!!! i just don't get it. but it's ok, he asked me to explore at home. haha. but it was a good come-back after 1/2 year anw. =)=)

talked to lou at night, and as usual, conversation can't get shorter than 1 hour, but yesterday we crossed the line of 2 hours! crazy, that's the result of missing out too much info from about aug? haha. but still, love ya loads dear. =)

Lord, why can't everything be stable? i know i am at a much greater advantage than many people in terms of conditions and surroundings, but at least i see them trying and i am not. and i am sick and tired of myself 'repenting' everytime. it just make me disgust myself even more. i have to love myself. i have to love myself. i have to love myself.

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